Why Rural People Make Such Good Neighbors

Rural people love their neighbors. They have perfected neighboring to a fine art It is at the heart of rural society. If a list of characteristics were made to distinguish rural from urban communities, neighboring would rank at the top.

Why do country people get along so well with their neighbors? How do they do it? Admittedly, there are all kinds of people in the country and not all of them make good neighbors. Yet on the whole, there is an unusual amount of tolerance, if not affection, between rural families.

Pioneer experiences

The attitude of caring and lending a helping hand has its roots in the pioneering or homesteading heritage of previous generations. In an environment of hardship, and danger, neighbors banded together for economic and physical survival.

Neighbors were the most important resource a family could have. At times, neighbors could mean the difference between life an death. Under such conditions, pioneering families learned to tolerate and to accept differences.

They learned to keep their complaints to themselves and overlook problems that would give others in society great offense. They knew there would come a time when they would their neighbor’s goodwill and help in an emergency.

Even in our modern society, the hazards of farming, weather and remoteness of services requires a measure of cooperation and mutual dependency. At their core, the traditions and patterns of rural etiquette are still based on issues of survival.

The unspoken rules

What are the unspoken rules and codes of living that smooth out the rough edges in rural communities?

Awareness If something seems amiss or out of the ordinary, people stop to inquire or offers assistance. This acute awareness of the way things should be is a key to timely aid. The country “gossip” about what is happening to whom acquaints people with the special needs of their neighbors.

Emotional support Attending funerals, weddings, showers, graduations, christenings, baptisms, birthday celebrations, anniversary parties and other such events, shows emotional support during special times. Busy people find a way to assist or participate in these occasions.

In the case of a tragedy or disaster, everybody helps. Food is brought in. Food and clothing are provided. Emotional support is given. Funds are raised.

If a farmer has a disabling illness or injury, his neighbors put in his crop or harvest it. In case of any emergency, people drop everything to rush to a neighbors aid.

Community participation A good neighbor sets aside time to support community and neighborhood traditions such as fire districts, church activities, brandings, school functions, 4-H and the many celebrations that make a community a community.

No taking sides When there are problems between different families, good neighbors know enough to stay out of it. After the dispute is resolved, the lingering resentment may be toward those who took sides. The countryside is full of diplomats who walk a fine line of offering support without alienating anyone.

Probably the biggest thing rural neighbors learn to do is to swallow their pride, keep their anger to themselves, avoid confrontations that cannot be undone, to keep their complaints and frustrations to themselves and to do good anyway.

Squaring accounts Neighbors will seek help when they know there will be a future opportunity to return the favor. Allowing a neighbor to give assistance builds bonds of love. People grow to love that which they serve. A good neighbor is as gracious in accepting help as he or she is in giving it.

Favors are returned. Appreciation is expressed. Accounts are squared, if not in the short term, then definitely in the long term. Out of pocket expenses are reimbursed. Good neighbors know the difference between short-term assistance and custom work. After material assistance of some form is given, good neighbors delicately attempt to balance the sales by questions such as, “What do I owe you?” and “What is it worth to you?”

Borrowing Borrowing has its own set of rules. Loan to everyone that asks. Return the borrowed items promptly so the neighbor doesn’t have to ask for it. If a borrowed item breaks down, buy parts, fix it and return it in as good a condition as you borrowed it. Vehicles are returned with their tanks full.